I’m Sorry, I Forgot

So many years in the blink of an eye; what happened?
We said goodbye, noncommittal promises so easily begot,
I remembered it all so much later, after the bitter end
that we’d said we’d get that date for coffee; I’m sorry that I forgot.

Faint smudges of cherry lipstick on your collar, a sad truth
of how I wanted to reach out and make it disappear ,blot
out the shine of your smile, so perfect in dimly lit corridors of youth;
so much that I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t. I’m sorry I forgot.

Your delicate hand; your face, somehow not quite the same. I imagine
in my mind
watching you, waiting for that wistful smile, eyes closed but not asleep. Just a spot of regret as cold winter wind mourned outside;
     incomparable to the mourning inside.
Despair flooded my heart and I promised to always remember; I’m
     sorry but I forgot.

Fly forward, years with memories taking shape on kites of thoughts
     and impressions.
Faded imprints of your face is all that is left, a vivid photograph now
     left to rot,
it’s all gone by so fast, pain so constant, now beyond numb. Cursed,
     forgotten sins,
I swore I’d always remember this day, a morbid anniversary. I’m sorry
     that I forgot.

I forgot the pain, you… For just a moment I allowed rays of bright
     sunshine in,
praying it would dispel your spirit, a ghost I still see in the arms of
     memory.
All of a sudden there was a life without you, a life where I wasn’t
     haunted. I began
to see what it was like without you. I forgot you, and eternally I am
     sorry.

© 2015 p.hill

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