I’m Sorry, I Forgot

So many years in the blink of an eye; what happened?
We said goodbye, noncommittal promises so easily begot,
I remembered it all so much later, after the bitter end
that we’d said we’d get that date for coffee; I’m sorry that I forgot.

Faint smudges of cherry lipstick on your collar, a sad truth
of how I wanted to reach out and make it disappear ,blot
out the shine of your smile, so perfect in dimly lit corridors of youth;
so much that I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t. I’m sorry I forgot.

Your delicate hand; your face, somehow not quite the same. I imagine
in my mind
watching you, waiting for that wistful smile, eyes closed but not asleep. Just a spot of regret as cold winter wind mourned outside;
     incomparable to the mourning inside.
Despair flooded my heart and I promised to always remember; I’m
     sorry but I forgot.

Fly forward, years with memories taking shape on kites of thoughts
     and impressions.
Faded imprints of your face is all that is left, a vivid photograph now
     left to rot,
it’s all gone by so fast, pain so constant, now beyond numb. Cursed,
     forgotten sins,
I swore I’d always remember this day, a morbid anniversary. I’m sorry
     that I forgot.

I forgot the pain, you… For just a moment I allowed rays of bright
     sunshine in,
praying it would dispel your spirit, a ghost I still see in the arms of
     memory.
All of a sudden there was a life without you, a life where I wasn’t
     haunted. I began
to see what it was like without you. I forgot you, and eternally I am
     sorry.

© 2015 p.hill

Published by Patrik Hill

Patrik Hill is the author of Downtown Noir, as well as the essay and poetry collection entitled The Five Aces of Israel: reshuffled. A self-described adventure geek, he has traveled all over North America, Puerto Rico and the Cayman Islands, exploring mountain trails, back country lakes, jungle canopies, and ocean reefs. A certified SCUBA diver Patrik is as at home on land as he is beneath the water. Patrik often uses these experiences and people he meets to mold and shape the characters of his books. Patrik has a Bachelor’s Degree in Sociology from Montana State University emphasizing on Criminal Justice. He has worked as a draftsman, a restaurant manager, and a healthcare professional. Patrik currently lives in Bozeman, Montana, with his family, and is working on his next novels, Thru the Glass Darkly: Retribution, and Detective Stories After Dark. Starting as early as the age of eight years old, Patrik has been writing short stories and producing fiction in various lengths. Stories of mad scientists and mechanized robots led to narratives experienced throughout teen years and early adulthood. While in college at Bismarck State College, studying journalism, Patrik realized that corporate writing just wasn't his cup of tea, and while the experiences at BSC proved to be invaluable, serving to provided a foundation on which his current writing is based. He left BSC in 1999.

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