Failure

“What do you see when the darkness comes?”
such a haunting question for such a simple conversation.

“I see the demons of dreams long dead,” I say.
He looks at me, through me, as if he could shun

the abomination in front of him. Such an arcane answer
to such a generic question. If this long standing pun

would just end now, that would be better. However
we choose to let it continue on and now has begun

to grow stale. I wish that this inane banter would fucking stop!
I know a way I could make it stop, but I don’t have a gun

with me just this moment. Besides public suicide
is frowned upon. There seems to be an aversion

to having brain matter splayed on the walls. If
I could just answer with “I see an intrusion

of the darkness that I call home!” Shouting this
I throw my fists up screaming to those who listen

that this is not what I had planned. “I see all the times
when I could have made you proud.” It’s time to run.

The fear of failure that has caught up with me
and now threatens to choke out the light of the sun.

I look him square in the eyes, cornea’s ablaze with fire,
“Now my friend, this is the end. Now, we are done.”

© 2015 p.hill

Published by Patrik Hill

Patrik Hill is the author of Downtown Noir, as well as the essay and poetry collection entitled The Five Aces of Israel: reshuffled. A self-described adventure geek, he has traveled all over North America, Puerto Rico and the Cayman Islands, exploring mountain trails, back country lakes, jungle canopies, and ocean reefs. A certified SCUBA diver Patrik is as at home on land as he is beneath the water. Patrik often uses these experiences and people he meets to mold and shape the characters of his books. Patrik has a Bachelor’s Degree in Sociology from Montana State University emphasizing on Criminal Justice. He has worked as a draftsman, a restaurant manager, and a healthcare professional. Patrik currently lives in Bozeman, Montana, with his family, and is working on his next novels, Thru the Glass Darkly: Retribution, and Detective Stories After Dark. Starting as early as the age of eight years old, Patrik has been writing short stories and producing fiction in various lengths. Stories of mad scientists and mechanized robots led to narratives experienced throughout teen years and early adulthood. While in college at Bismarck State College, studying journalism, Patrik realized that corporate writing just wasn't his cup of tea, and while the experiences at BSC proved to be invaluable, serving to provided a foundation on which his current writing is based. He left BSC in 1999.

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