Death on Tobin’s Bed

I was lying on Tobin’s rank bed
when his crazy stars fell on me.
Glowing ceiling tiles lit in shades of
green, blue, orange and red

flew at me; so many comets set free.
Was I really tripping on acid?
Feeling them hit me, envelope my body
penetrate me and pulse through me.

Falling to warped wooden planks of the floor;
I swear that it took damn near forever.
Laughing so hard I coughed and threw up
covered in drugs and rancid spoor

with tastes of bile and stomach churn
abrasive, heavy on my tongue.
And then Tobin hit me with unrelenting fists.
Again and again, waves pounding, fiery burn

it was not a good thing, such an awful
feeling. No that pain was the not the same
as feeling those Gods be damned stars.
Crying out through a nasty mouthful

of vomit and pills, bong water pass…
Passing out and violently reawakening
in another time and other spaces.
Where am I? Was that the white grass

or green sheets that caress,
envelope my sweat sick body.
Feeling a needle jab into my arm,
a rush as my heart accelerates

just past light speed. God, those stars…
Not quite gone, not quite lucid.
Hollow tinny sound of someone laughing
it wasn’t me. I was just too far…

Muted voices chattering far off, too shrill
knowing full well that they still weren’t me.
Knowing then, that my innocence was lost
never to be able to return, for good or for ill.

One day soon I realized that I was going to die.
I just didn’t think it was going to be tonight.
Not while I was lying here, on Tobin’s filthy bed,
because all I wanted to do was get high.

© 2015 p.hill

Published by Patrik Hill

Patrik Hill is the author of Downtown Noir, as well as the essay and poetry collection entitled The Five Aces of Israel: reshuffled. A self-described adventure geek, he has traveled all over North America, Puerto Rico and the Cayman Islands, exploring mountain trails, back country lakes, jungle canopies, and ocean reefs. A certified SCUBA diver Patrik is as at home on land as he is beneath the water. Patrik often uses these experiences and people he meets to mold and shape the characters of his books. Patrik has a Bachelor’s Degree in Sociology from Montana State University emphasizing on Criminal Justice. He has worked as a draftsman, a restaurant manager, and a healthcare professional. Patrik currently lives in Bozeman, Montana, with his family, and is working on his next novels, Thru the Glass Darkly: Retribution, and Detective Stories After Dark. Starting as early as the age of eight years old, Patrik has been writing short stories and producing fiction in various lengths. Stories of mad scientists and mechanized robots led to narratives experienced throughout teen years and early adulthood. While in college at Bismarck State College, studying journalism, Patrik realized that corporate writing just wasn't his cup of tea, and while the experiences at BSC proved to be invaluable, serving to provided a foundation on which his current writing is based. He left BSC in 1999.

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