My thoughts are useless and my actions impotent.

I watch mouth agape as everything I have come to fear
is splayed out before me; a sick melodrama.

It should not have happened, the world now knows,
you were put on display for shock and ratings.

Everyone is sorry because God chose not to favor you,
though we pray to him for peace.

Taken from me, taken from us all I cry unabashedly,
drowning in hard liquor and harder tears.

The rest of the world is a million miles away,
nonexistent and insubstantial, a wisp of a ghost
as you now are.

No words of comfort mean anything, not anymore,
all the prayers in the world mean nothing.

I talk to people, and write words of pitiful grace;
hoping to ease my pain but only forcing the cut open wider.

Someone’s daughter, someone’s friend, someone’s girlfriend
is gone and there is nothing that we can do but not bury ourselves with
do everything to keep her memory alive.

God help me, my terror and loneliness is paramount;
though wish as I may Cari is still gone.

© 2015 p.hill

Published by Patrik Hill

Patrik Hill is the author of Downtown Noir, as well as the essay and poetry collection entitled The Five Aces of Israel: reshuffled. A self-described adventure geek, he has traveled all over North America, Puerto Rico and the Cayman Islands, exploring mountain trails, back country lakes, jungle canopies, and ocean reefs. A certified SCUBA diver Patrik is as at home on land as he is beneath the water. Patrik often uses these experiences and people he meets to mold and shape the characters of his books. Patrik has a Bachelor’s Degree in Sociology from Montana State University emphasizing on Criminal Justice. He has worked as a draftsman, a restaurant manager, and a healthcare professional. Patrik currently lives in Bozeman, Montana, with his family, and is working on his next novels, Thru the Glass Darkly: Retribution, and Detective Stories After Dark. Starting as early as the age of eight years old, Patrik has been writing short stories and producing fiction in various lengths. Stories of mad scientists and mechanized robots led to narratives experienced throughout teen years and early adulthood. While in college at Bismarck State College, studying journalism, Patrik realized that corporate writing just wasn't his cup of tea, and while the experiences at BSC proved to be invaluable, serving to provided a foundation on which his current writing is based. He left BSC in 1999.

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