My thoughts are useless and my actions impotent.
I watch mouth agape as everything I have come to fear
is splayed out before me; a sick melodrama.
It should not have happened, the world now knows,
you were put on display for shock and ratings.
Everyone is sorry because God chose not to favor you,
though we pray to him for peace.
Taken from me, taken from us all I cry unabashedly,
drowning in hard liquor and harder tears.
The rest of the world is a million miles away,
nonexistent and insubstantial, a wisp of a ghost
as you now are.
No words of comfort mean anything, not anymore,
all the prayers in the world mean nothing.
I talk to people, and write words of pitiful grace;
hoping to ease my pain but only forcing the cut open wider.
Someone’s daughter, someone’s friend, someone’s girlfriend
is gone and there is nothing that we can do but not bury ourselves with
do everything to keep her memory alive.
God help me, my terror and loneliness is paramount;
though wish as I may Cari is still gone.
© 2015 p.hill